three nasty, nasty haiku.

1. Batman

Batman ain’t shit, man
Dirty Harry’s 44’d
jack him up big time.

2. Alternative Vocation (a double)

If, on reading a
poem, you find you learn more
about the poet
than you learn about
yourself, perhaps the poet
is missing the point.

3. Fuck this Shit

Fuck this shit, I’ve had
enough and I am going
to get a taco.

This entry was published on 10/19/2012 at 4:56 pm. It’s filed under poetry and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

63 thoughts on “three nasty, nasty haiku.

  1. JackieP on said:

    Get 2 tacos and we’ll share 😉

  2. Pingback: Straightforward Poems for Straightforward People « tarnation and eudemonia

  3. Batman does wear body armor…

    • Yeah, but even with Class III body armor, the percussive injuries from the .44 would see Batman bleed out internally in an hour or so. Or Harry’s take him down with the first shot and then put one in his head.

  4. lovely……… 😉

    • just a reminder that I (and others – obviously) are waiting (semi-patiently)……

      *taps fingers on table* (did I use the word patiently)……….. please………….I’m waiting…………..

      • I don’tt have anything new good to enough to post…. I’ll repost something from 2010 that I haven’t put on the blog yet. It’s fun, at least…

  5. i like them – all!

  6. sex2poetry4life on said:

    I still think this speaks as much to your condition as mine

  7. highshelfbooze on said:

    Batman would have been prepared.

  8. Verse is a knife you twist well!

  9. apacketofchipsontheceiling on said:

    Yeah, a taco would go good about now.

  10. Yaz on said:

    Don’t we always write about ourselves, even when we think we’re writing about someone else? Besides, I quite like a sneak peak into someone’s soul…Keep it up Seb. Eat your greens and your brain food.

    • Oh, I think if you are disciplined and objective enough, you can eliminate yourself, to a large extent, from the work. I think you have to do that, otherwise you just keep going over your own same ground again and again. I’m not really interested in myself – I can sit at home on a Saturday night and navel gaze all like – what I think is really interesting, what returns the investment of effort, is the sparks that fly off other people when they take on the work. And I fully conceed I have probably missed the point this week 🙂

  11. I learned from this you are a cranky old bugger.

  12. NotResponsibleAmy on said:

    I’d split a taco with you, you big grouch.

  13. No. 2 is something I believe I need to memories and quote! Spot on Seb!

    • yeah. A writer’s job isn’t to make people think how clever the writer is, it’s to make the reader think they aren’t that crazy after all!

  14. Deliberately Delicious on said:

    Pondering number two. Can the poet not share a personal experience which resonates for the reader? Or which the reader appreciates simply for the beauty of the language? (I’m thinking of your ass poem, which feels personal – even if it might not be. What I love about that poem is not what I learn about myself but what you can do with a line, a phrase, an image.

    • Hmmm.

      a) yes, but there are constraints
      b) yes, but what’s the point?

      a – A writer has to share the experience, but I think they need to remove themselves from it, because it then becomes about them and it crowds out the reader, it editorializes the experience. The writer exists to serve the work, not the other way around – the worst thing in the world is a writer who uses their work exclusively to publicize themselves. That’s why social media exposes so many awful writers.

      What the work did for you was made you question your metrics for poetry, made you appraise your critical standards. It made you think about yourself, not me. So that’s a win!

      b – lines, phrases and images aren’t really that important to me. I’ll never start something because I think “oh that’s a good line, I’ll use that” and I am very distrustful of anything that doesn’t arise organically from the process of writing or editing. They’re like lightning bolts and I toss them aside – I don’t even write them down for “later”. Everything has to be functional to the design of the work. I usually write in reverse order, too, and the title is always the last thing. So – horribly pragmatic and unromantic as it may sounds, what I do with lines, images and phrases is just integration testing. Words aren’t really important to poems, compared to the framework and the purpose of the poem. There’s plenty of words to pick from, but very few original ideas 🙂

      I tend to think writing is like the old saw the woman in half magic trick. Works perfectly for the audience, but there’s always a hell of a mess left in the box and a new girl in the sparkly tights every week!

  15. thatbiatch1982 on said:

    #3 is a masterpiece – easily as good as your one on Buddy Holly.

  16. Form such as this is disagreeable to you.

  17. Your attitude would seem to be at odds with a lot of your compatriots here, who see writing as some distinctive vocation, a necessity of life, while you see it as work.

  18. You sound frustrated with writing in the last one. After all this time, how do you keep yourself challenged?

  19. No respect for a stuffy old form, love it!

  20. hans kreher on said:

    Hello Seb, there’s a ~ afoot here in our group to submit a Haiku and then all would one by one submitted to artistic painters who then would paint a canvass inspired a one haiku.

    Now the Haiku is a strange foreigner to me. I wonder if you would let me use yours, (# 1) with credit by your name and address here, in place of any feeble effort of my own. Should a painting be produced, you’ll be guaranteed to know, and see all if you care, hans

  21. First and last the best. I hope to have a taco with M.Eastwood some day. I better get on that. Thanks for the laugh.

  22. Tacos make everything better!

  23. soo, this is what anger writes.

  24. i like number two, though I may be a culprit of it

  25. Fuck this shit..says it all really! I like the middle one the best though, about the poet. So, are you implying poetry isn’t like opening your wet macintosh in a park full of kiddies?

    • Poetry is (or at least should be) even less respectable than
      opening your wet macintosh in a park full of kiddies!

      Seriously,it’s work, that’s all it is. You have a problem and it’s a way of approaching the problem. It either works or it doesn’t 🙂

  26. oh my…the second one hit me…think that’s the case with my poems maybe…you got me thinking seb…

  27. Seb, I am more of a confessional poet, and so disgracefully self-centered that I envy people like you, who can claim to be otherwise. You seem to like a lot of my poems, though, so maybe you think I do not qualify as a #2 poet. See how self-absorbed I am? Although, I already knew this, and therefore didn’t necessarily learn anything about myself from your haikus. 😉

    It could be damn possible that you simply wrote what you saw in the photos and nothing more than that. See how I am trying to figure it out? Yes, I am analytical…and prideful – ego feeding on knowledge to the point of gluttony – my ultimate demise. But, I already knew this about myself as well. (big sigh!)

    Well, anyway, I sure had fun pondering your thoughts along with the comments people left. It appears I am not the only insecure, narcissistic poet out there – lol.

    You rock!!!

  28. You don’t have a nasty bone on your body, you big cuddlepoof!

  29. jenniejenjen3 on said:

    There you are!

    I so missed missed your writing

    “Get behind me Satan”

    Don’t let me lose you again!!!!

  30. “If, on reading a
    poem, you find you learn more
    about the poet
    than you learn about
    yourself, perhaps the poet
    is missing the point.”

    Someone finally said it!

  31. Tweeky stuff here tweeks me.

  32. isiscambassassassassian on said:

    Dare I ask what flavor taco?

  33. You seem to be laboring under the curse of a gift you do not want. Go get a taco, you magnificent asshole.

  34. Nasty indeed! I like it! I like the use of bad language in poems… I think it goes against the “rules”. Very contemporaneous of you, haha.
    Put a link for you in my blogroll! Hope you don’t mind!

  35. I can really see #3 being printed on shirts for the future employees of Taco Bell. Love it 🙂

  36. #3 reminds me of Brautigan. 😉

  37. “Fuck this shit” is my cute little classmate’s favorite phrase.

    I would’ve had no idea what makes a good writer or a good poet, technically speaking, but I like when a piece of literature makes me feel something. Or look at something differently. As for my own, it basically comes straight from my heart, randomly and unedited… I’m sure you can tell. But I can’t imagine getting any enjoyment out of writing by approaching it as work.

    Yet I do enjoy the work you post.

  38. “…Learn about youself …”
    Thats the juice

  39. carolineskanne on said:

    you crack me up. you take haiku to a new dimension … loving the last one in particular ; )

  40. Clicked on this because I really like Rocky and Bullwinkle. Your poems are OK too.

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