4 years on

4 years on
I walk with a limp
and my fingers
are knotty
as clouds.

4 years on
and my children
have left me
I walk blind
through the darkness
in a spasm
of the wee, small hours.

4 years on
and the first
chill of winter
fills me with panic
and visions
of hyena-faced

4 years on
I still stammer
and tremble
I dance numb-footed
and it pains me
to mention
its name.

This entry was published on 07/13/2012 at 9:50 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

28 thoughts on “4 years on

  1. Pingback: Straightforward Poems for Straightforward People « tarnation and eudemonia

  2. olivesmeltz on said:

    Keep on dancing, Seb. This is stark and as blunt and truthful as you can be about something whose name must not be spoken.

  3. isiscambassassassassian on said:

    How dark does it get when there is no dawn?

  4. Four years on can still sometimes feel like only minutes… Funny how time and expand and contract at its own will like that. Like how you’ve expressed that darkness here.

  5. littlewhitepagan on said:

    Whoa. Shit just got heavy! Seriously, this is why you ruled MySpace when you ruled MySpace. That ability to strip it all away and tell the bitter truth.

  6. penniezzfromhellzz on said:

    This dark shadow had been across your work for years now, occasionally reappearing but never wholly departing. maybe one day I will work out the clues!

  7. I guess poems dress up our nitemares as much as they do our dreams. They also remind us just why and exactly how the truth can hurt.

  8. hellznokel on said:

    Your black dog back? Maybe saying it’s name would help you get over it? The details here are razor sharp and bloody, nonetheless.

  9. lindastoria on said:

    Stark, unflinching and brilliant. You bear your pain so well here. And it is nice without the peanut gallery of gawpers and Leeza clones on MySpace to clutter things up

  10. sex2poetry4life on said:

    Your voice is still distinct and forceful – no matter where you try to hide it.

  11. Emotionally confronting in every way. What dark terror could it be?

  12. That’s such a well put together poem! And I’m very selective about poetry.

  13. hans kreher on said:

    “4 years on”, Imagine reciting your poem; this line become elastic with multiple dimensions, and maybe this is part of how life experience affects us…to echo another, the master touch!

  14. go1flo on said:

    There’ll come a time when you have to face it, Seb. 4 years, 5 years – how many years does it take? Your voice here seems very calm in the face of fear.

  15. Makes me think of my dad who has RA. Very poignant write.

  16. darkeyesblueveil on said:


  17. You’re such a mysterious fellow, Seb.

  18. NotResonsibleAmy on said:

    You’ll have to confront it by saying its name sometime, Seb. People will understand.

  19. There’s some real power and ; lingering doubt tot his, Seb. You’ll be ok, though, because you are Seb!

  20. Dark shadows in here, brother Seb.

  21. You need to be honest, Seb. You can’t act like you are ashamed of it.

  22. bashothegreat on said:

    A struggle to read, Seb. So human and painful.

  23. missdirected11 on said:

    The sense of time and frustration in this really comes through, as does the knowledge it is all going to end soon. A cancer? AIDS?

  24. I really like your writing, Seb. Glad you came across my site, and I….yours.

  25. What a great word, had to look it up, Aristotle no less. “Happiness as a result of an active life governed by reason.”

  26. electricaunty on said:

    Blunt, brilliant,bleak, beautiful.

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