how you murdered him

how you finally murdered him
makes little difference to me

what matters now is silence, in this room

but, the holes that you lovingly hacked in me
for the pleasure of your fingers

does it feel the same to be in me, as I in you?

the slowness with which I eat you
like in your dreams, beneath those willows

brings a fire ever closer to your heart.

yet you complain the warmth comes slowly, like
the opposite of bleeding –

and I thought speed was only distance, over time

and my hunger for your body
is not a matter of importance
when you have fresh dug graves to dance upon.

This entry was published on 05/05/2012 at 5:53 pm. It’s filed under poetry and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

20 thoughts on “how you murdered him

  1. Pingback: Straightforward Poems for Straightforward People « tarnation and eudemonia

  2. littlewhitepagan on said:

    This is the kind of shit that got you laughed at on Myspace. But I can’t think of a more “effective” answer poem – especially the hilarious note on the tombstone!

  3. DJM on said:

    This was enjoyable. A little on the scary side, what with a full moon out… 🙂

  4. I love how she starts smiling and clapping when she blows you up and does a can-can with your flaming head on a stick! She reminds me of someone I know…

  5. The poem and the film are opposites – the poem very solemn and serious and asks some harsh questions and the film is crazy funny – especially when she puts your burning head on the stick and dances about! I think we can safely say you are over this change of life, then!

  6. go1flo on said:

    Ignoring the film, this is a deeply disturbing poem – more for it shows us how needy women can be of men – and one is not comfortable with that.

  7. hellznokel on said:

    Sounds like your absurd sense of humor got you through the dark times.

  8. I’m not sure the film adds something to a poem which already more than adequately describes a poisoned love.

  9. penniezzfromhellzz on said:

    I paid no attention to the “film” but was transfixed by the poem – the depth of atmosphere and the way that what lays beneath the surface of it, dimly visible, is what is truly what we are questing for. That mood, that odd sense of light you bring to a poem is always fascinating when you get it right.

  10. Well, the film has nothing to do with the poem but is fun, anyway. The poem is quite chilling and very effective. You don’t ask questions when you are in love.

  11. Hahaha FANTASTIC!!!!!

  12. She kills to love and loves to kill.

  13. isiscambassassassassian on said:

    Quick and clean, eh?

  14. olivesmeltz on said:

    A fun little film but the poem has a real point about the way we don’t pick and choose when we love on the rebound.

  15. Interesting read here Seb. Emotions are raw with the reading; like nails scrapping slowly across a chalkboard. The use of the word “hack” at the start of the poem to describe the crime (Was it a crime?) is jarring to the senses. Yet…how nonchalant (indifferent) is the voice as it initially describes the murder and what contrasts in the remainder of the poem. The one stanza regarding “holes”, “lovingly hacked”, “pleasure” made me wince. I sense the protagonist is lying; too much use of sarcasm. He cares. He just doesn’t want to care. Actually, this poem reads like a murder in progress. The one slain is seemingly striking back from the grave. I, however, don’t believe in ghosts so perhaps he isn’t quite dead yet. He could be in a coma (striving for optimism here). Of course this is only my first reading and, in my experience, each subsequent reading sheds new light.

    (I don’t like indifference. It’s a false shield. Sadly it’s something I use often because, at the time, I wrongly believe it a protection.)

    • Missy, I think you mat be right – if you look closely at the tombstone it reads “Ol’ Sebbie – he never saw it coming!”

  16. darkeyesblueveil on said:

    I think he is wondering what it will be like to be next. He doesn’t care, at first, because she murdered man A to come to him, but now he’s beginning to think he may meet the same fate…

  17. lindastoria on said:

    Yeah. Never mess with a redhead.

  18. That’s just brilliant. I wish I knew how to do that. I also like the title ‘straightforward poems’. I don’t like those poems which deliberately obscure their meaning – what’s the point of that! But I like yours.

    • Aw, shucks. Thank you. That’s really cool. “straight forward poems” is a hold over from the old MySpace blog, which was a haory old place in it’s pomp. if you like the animation, which was a quickie here, this is the first one I ever did and it is much better… – better poem, better music, better film. Ironically, it tells the story of the start of the relationship which was to later see me choppe \d up wit a chainsaw and set fire to.

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