in this darkness, dimly gleaming, is summer’s coming light

In the withering summer
of 1989,
when all our prayers had been ruined
or left behind
to die like thieves re-crucified,
or to shrivel on the vine
by that burned out shack out back of
Wrightsville Beach.
We got high behind the dunes
and screwed until we screamed
wasted so relentlessly what was meant to be
our dream
defensively, deliberately, wonderously obscene.
How that summer’s heat lies jaded,
out of reach.

My feet were caked with beach tar,
calloused and black,
my eyes were stoned and stuck on you
uncurious and slack
the day you said you were hitching into Charlotte,
you’d get some money and be right back
and left me hanging in the airless
mid- July swelter.
Swimming in the scent of you
sin and I stroked, side by side
you said “Honey, I’m your pony
pay a penny, you can ride”
and a penny was a fine price ’til the day
I was denied
the right to hide, inside
your sacred shelter….

…. you came to the hospital
the day I came awake and said
“you didn’t mean to do it,
this is some gross, misshapen mistake.”
My mouth so full of tubes I felt
I was swallowing a snake
And I knew by the cruel miracle I was still
living.
And in living, years, like those snakes
have interwoven over again
I haven’t forgotten, forsaken or
broken those links you are
to my chain
to joy and pain and faces and names,
of those wrongs, real or not
I’m forgiving.

In this darkness, dimly gleaming
is summer’s coming light….

this poem first appeared on my MySpace blog, Full Mental Jacket, on 5/29/2006

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This entry was published on 05/29/2006 at 1:52 am and is filed under 2006, Poems. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “in this darkness, dimly gleaming, is summer’s coming light

  1. go1flo on said:

    That is menacing and powerful as fuck. You had it, even back then!

  2. Pingback: Straightforward Poems for Straightforward People « tarnation and eudemonia

  3. This is a great poem and a very menacing reading – but you need to mix your voice up.

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