Ladies and gentlemen,
of Pikesville, Maryland -
pecking at your ham and kale,
hurried glances at your watches,
I won’t hold you here long,
I swear, right now I’m so full of holes
that I peep like a pennywhistle.
But bear with me,
knowing apostasy is
a sin more vile than murder.
You see, my eyes are all jammed up
with judybugs and I may backslide
and signify, here and there.
So board up the windows and hope
that the levees hold and hear my story
For tonight I am lonesome as a post office,
southbound on the Route 7 pike,
all gone gully boppers
for a blonde-headed girl.